A Change for Good...!!

Not before I actually slept, lying on my bed…

I was shivering, as if I have been forcefully inserted in the tank of ice water that lies on the roof of my bhawan. But I was at ease, at ease to see a future of comfortably sleeping in the double blanket lying above, trying to protect every part of body. Sometimes I feel it is sinking down, down on the dirty floor. Maybe that’s one reason I do not like gravity. I pushed my legs up in the air till it rises and I am sure all of it is on the bed.

Besides the bed lie my laptop, it twinkles with the IMG screensaver. I stare at it without blinking thinking of my life without it. I cannot…

I want to surf net, but the Wi-Fi is not working. I want to work but I feel cold as soon as I would ever get out. I decide to be at ease.

I have always thought the life has given me many pleasures, sometimes more than expected. People like me for who I am, for what I think. I feel sorry for those I rejected in the interview. But life goes on. What if I had been rejected, life still goes on. What if I was not the one in 4, life still goes on. What if I were not here…
The mere thought of déjàvu can vibrate your soul is what I am thinking. I decide to be at ease and let the life go on.

I close my eyes and decide to let my thoughts wander to the best of the moments in my life. What I actually want. I sleep.

I am in a room, somewhat familiar to me. I am laughing. I like making fun of Gurveen. He is someone I have always wanted to be in company with. I remember, this is the nightstay we had. On the sofa is lying Saurabh, my best friend. And its not once our thoughts have wandered on the same point. I feel myself at the loveliest moments of my life.

I have never forbid with what they ever ask for, even when it is to convince my parents. I just wish for this life to never end without them.

We were talking about horror stories. It was like once we did on our trip to Panchmarhi. It was 3:00AM. I remember it to be called as the demon time. I have seen exhorcist. I have always wanted to prove that I was bold. Bold enough not to get frightened. I hid my face behind the blanket, listening to what Aditya was telling. I did not want them to see my expression. I wandered my eyes all around the room. A portrait of the village was hanging on the front wall. It had a girl looking straight into me. I kept staring and same did she. I flicked my head with the wildest of the thoughts I was having. I found saurabh lying, scared with as Aditya approached to the final scenes of the story, the girl with legs, hands and face reversed. The biggest mouse I have ever seen. He hid his face thinking if he could not see, then no one could see him. This seems to be the tendency of most of the sapiens. I still love the way we had spent the time together.

No selfish thoughts, no tension, no competition, no race, just fun. I just realized what I have always wanted in life. The secret to my happiness. The final thing I have to achieve in life. May be this shall change the course of my life, change the way I have always been born to think, to overcome myself over my greediness. No to grab but to accept the best place in the world. That is how I have to change………That …was the Last Night.